Boundaries in Friendships

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If you've ever experienced an awkward coffee date with a new friend, this blog is for you. (If you haven't: 1) I'm jealous and 2) this blog is still for you. It's for everyone.) The friendships I've made in college have been the best, and at times, most frustrating, part of my time at MC. Friendship is important, but doing it well can be hard. Today, I want to share with you one of the most valuable friendship lessons I've learned: the importance of boundaries.

Boundaries will look different from friendship to friendship, but I've found that they're essential. Take time to think and pray about what you're looking for in a friend and what kind of friend you are. That will help you determine the types of boundaries you need in friendships.

I'm an introvert and I like to keep my closest circle of friends very small. Some of my more extroverted friends have a wider circle, and that works great for them. Freshman year, I tried to be best friends with every person I hit it off with. This quickly burned me out because I wasn't consistently investing in the same people. Pick your people, and love them well.

Once you've found your people, building those close relationships takes time. Deep, lasting relationships aren't formed instantly as soon as you share all of your dirt with someone. Be mindful about who and when you share your tough stuff with. There are some people that you won't feel comfortable sharing certain things with, and that's ok. 

As you get closer to people, beware of co-dependency. It's great to have one person that you're closest to, but don't abandon other friendships to spend all of your time with that person. Co-dependency leads to jealousy, and I've lost several friendships because of it. Learning how to balance your time between friends is key. 

There definitely are things to be mindful of in your approach of friendships, but ultimately, friendship is meant to be enjoyed. It's incredible how the Father places people in our lives in different seasons. Every day, I'm learning how to be a better friend. Give yourself grace if you mess up or if a friendship doesn't work out. Friendship is messy sometimes, but it's always worth it. You're never alone in this life. Here's to the friends that make us better.

Lover of socks, avocados, and friendship

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